Seeing details - 2years 11months old

Zo Ee at 2years 11months old. (5/4/2011)

Zo Ee kept asking Mummy, "Mum! Mum! What's wrong with Pluto's eyes?" Everything seems perfect to Mummy. Since Mummy couldn't find what is wrong, so Mummy asked Zo Ee, "What is actually wrong with Pluto?" Zo Ee replied, " Pluto's eyes joined together." Oops!!! She is right. Nevertheless, she kept insisting an explanation to that weird occurrence. She was not satisfied even though Mummy told her that it's not real, as it is only a cartoon character, thus the cartoonist can draw it any way he likes although we may not be able to see such in reality.

Parenting

What would you do when your toddler throws things/toys onto the floor to free some space for her/him/ toys; for example throwing magazines onto the floor so that she can use the coffee table to do her drawing?

Do you scream at her for throwing the magazines onto the floor? Which I believe most Asian will do that; especially the older generation. Maybe some may even spank the little child for doing so which is such a sad event to see. It’s so sad; many caretakers only scream and yell at the little ones for their inappropriate doings without guiding them or showing them the correct way to face the situation. It’s often heard, “Don’t throw! Why did you throw them onto the floor?” But they never offered any solution or guidance so that the child will know how to handle such similar situation in the future. How sad?

As responsible parents; we should evaluate each situation calmly and soundly (not to be affected by our bad mood or tiredness.). Did the child do it on purpose? If yes, why is it so? Is he/she seeking attention? Have we been ignoring him/her for quite some time due to house chores or have we been away from him/her for sometime?

Try to see what is the reason behind? As for the example above, parents should tell the child that it’s inappropriate to throw things onto the floor, even though to make way for his own activities. Parents may teach/guide them to put away their toys or put aside the magazines or ask Mummy/Daddy to help. Of course the best solution is to get a table for the child for his/her own activities.

Moreover, parents didn’t see the bad example of themselves in screaming/yelling at the little child. Over the time, it will come the time when the little child yells back at his/her parents. And when this happened, the parents get angry; blaming the child for misbehaving and rude. Can you guess what happened? Again the child gets punished for yelling. Why are so many parents (Asian) scream and yell at their children while expecting their children to behave politely in return? This doesn’t make sense to me at all.

Once my university professor told the class; “Never scold your child STUPID.” This is because your child actually reflects you yourself. Your child is your own reflection!

What I hate most is parents like to belittle the child in public. They like to make comments like, “Aunty is looking at you.”, “Aunty will scold you.”, “Uncle laughs at you.”, “People laugh at you.” Again these selfish parents are using these inappropriate statements to tame the child without noticing the severe damage that can be done to the child. These are all negatives statements that can harm the child’s self-esteem for life.

New Home in Goa

We are still in the midst of setting up our own home in Goa. Currently too busy to have anytime to blog. Anyway, we wish to move in to our new home before little Zo Ee 2nd birthday.

Logic Toys - 18 month old

Zo Ee at 18 month old.

What skills will my child develop through Puzzles and Logic Toys?

1. Intellectual Benefits
Puzzles and logic toys help to stimulate the thinking side of the child’s brain, and force them to focus on problem solving skills such as process and logic. The child begins to understand that there are several ways to attack a problem, and will experiment with ways which work best for him/her. The more puzzles and logic toys a child explores, the stronger his/her personal sense of process will be. The problem solving skills learnt through puzzles can be transferred to every area of the child’s life.

2. Physical Benefits
At a young age, puzzles help children to develop fine motor skills, which in everyday terms means the ability to make small (or fine) movements. The picking up, grasping or putting of pieces together helps to develop fine muscle control, which will be in good help in learning to write later.

3. Emotional and Social Benefits
Puzzles offer a number of emotional and social benefits including:

• A sense of achievement when the puzzle is complete
• The development of determination and perseverance
• Co-operation when completing a puzzle with others
• The chance to solve problems independently and know when you have reached a right result

Basically, I don't go all out to look for specific toys for little Zo Ee's development. I'll buy whenever I see some good toys during shopping. Some were gifts while some were hand-me-down toys. Shown below are some of Zo Ee's logic toys collection. Now, at 18 month old, my little Zo Ee is capable of doing these:

Putting these puzzles together; filling in the smaller pieces in the center (eg. 2 semicircles to form the circle, 2 rectangles to form a square) before joining the bigger pieces together.

She could put 0-9 correctly in place since 14 month old. Now, she has moved on in trying to make a hop scotch with these foam mats after Mummy made her one last week.

Random building with these plastic bricks.

Joining these together.

Stacks 4 to 6 blocks tower. (stacked 2 blocks tower at 9 month old)

Stacking these too.

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Then

16 month old - better dexterity skill

15 month old - Matching shapes II

14 month old
- Shape sorter II
- Number Mats

12 month old - wooden shape sorter

9 month old - stacking 2 blocks tower

First Encyclopedia - 14months old

Zo Ee at 14months 3days old. (14/6/2009)

We bought Zo Ee her first encyclopedia few months ago but have been reserving it and only introduced it to her last week. This is a very simple, clear and lively version especially designed for young, inquiring minds; which consist 158 pages, with most information simply written in a short paragraph(3-6 short sentences) with large print and many large colourful pictures.

My intention is to let her explore it at her own pace, so I have left the book in the living hall for her own comfort browsing; flipping through the pages as and when she likes. Surprisingly, she is excited and loves to browse over it again and again as she is so attached to those titles in big print, which she already know many of them.

Overheard !
As she was browsing this encyclopedia alone, I am amazed as she does understand many words (especially the title in each page), pointing at them and those related pictures while saying them aloud. She even acted out some of the words in her own way with enthusiasm. My observation tells me that she enjoys every second of it, especially seeing those familiar words and related pictures.

Some of Zo Ee’s simple perception.

Babies

She will say “Baby, baby, baby”, while pointing her little finger at the title babies. When she looked further, she said “baby, baby” with excitement while pointing at the baby in the picture. She was smiling and moving around the room, repeatedly saying “baby, baby” before returning to the book for another page of excitement.

Birds

“Bird, bird” while pointing at the title birds, before spending more time , seriously checking on each birds on that page. When she saw the peacock, another familiar bird to her, she got all excited again; walking around the room excitedly while kept saying “bird, bird, bird” as she couldn’t say the word “peacock” yet.

Dance

Though Zo Ee can recognize this title- dance (not pronouncing it yet), she was all excited again upon seeing it, doing her own dancing; moving her arms and body – her own version of dancing. Then she will point at the title dance again and repeat her dancing with excitement. She will keep doing this until she finally decided to move on to another new page.

Light

Light is a new word to her as I have never taught her before, other than the word “lighting”. But I am amazed that she was able to relate this word to the word “lighting” itself and pointing to the living hall’s lighting excitedly.

Moon

She's extremely obsessed with this page on the moon. She kept looking for it many times a day. She loves to say “oon, oon, oon” while pointing at the picture of the moon excitedly. Each time, whenever she gets excited, she will more around, make one small round in the living hall before coming back to that particular page. It seems there is such a need to exhibit her excitement which is beyond her control.

Sometimes, she will share her excitement and knowledge with me if I'm around the living room; telling me some of those words aloud while pointing at them. She loves to get my acknowledgement and response; positively praising her effort and giving her extra encouragement and motivation.

Also in the coming weeks, I may occasionally look out for opportunity to read her a fact or two while she is browsing it herself. "Why fact? Isn't this too early for her?" From the Glenn Doman's book "How to give your baby encyclopedia knowledge", the basis of all intelligence is facts. Without facts there can be no intelligence. With a small number of facts human brain can come to a small number of conclusions. With a huge number of facts it can come to a huge number of conclusions. If they are related facts the number of conclusions is breathtaking based on the mathematical law called the law of combinations and permutations. For example, by giving the child ten related facts, this will give him/her 3,628,800 connections in his/her knowledge bank and growing his/her brain every time he/she does.

"How sad it is that we put information into a computer with great skill and great precision and put information into our children's brains in a hit-or-miss, slip-slop, sloppy, and often untruthful way. Remember that, unlike the computer, we can never totally erase a fact that we put into our baby's brain. They will remain as the first response available on recall. They will remain if they are true and they will remain if they are untrue. " - Glenn Doman

(So never try to fool your child with any untrue facts, just tell him/her that you don't know the answer and will look it up, and promise to share with him/her later.)

"Motivation is a product of success!" - Glenn Doman.

Note: the above is not Glenn Doman's method in giving your child encyclopedia knowledge, he uses bit of intelligence. This blog is just to share with you the importance of giving your child "facts".

How to raise an amazing child - Montessori way

Last week, while I was looking for some ideas of activities where I can spend time productively with Zo Ee, I stumbled upon this book in the library; It’s about the Montessori way to bring up caring, confident children. I like it very much, as some of the practice is pretty similar to my own approach at home with Zo Ee, which solely based on my observation and consciousness. And I am very glad that I’m doing a good job with Zo Ee by encouraging her doing most of her activities independently. I always show her the correct way to do things and will encourage her to do them herself, eg. she will put away her toys into the container(as early as 8 months old) or put coloured pencils back into their holder. But all these need a lot of patience and extra work (extra cleaning and supervision) as these little tasks may be easily done by any adults but it may take a baby/toddler a lot of effort, much longer time to do them, and a lot of practise to master them. Nevertheless, once a new skill is learnt, it is something the child can carry with him/her in life.

Excerpt from the book “How to raise an amazing child.”
“While not every teacher is a parent, every parent is a teacher.”

“Children pass through “sensitive periods” in which they are primed to learn, and some of these opportunities don’t come twice.”

“Give the right stimulation at the right time, children are able to learn almost unconsciously.”

Ideas that I like from this book:

• Neat and tidy – creates a sense of order that encourages children to become self-disciplined and independent – keep toys on shelves she can easily reach rather than putting them away in a toy box. An orderly environment – when everything has its set place your child can easily maintain order in her room. (young children have a tremendous need and love for an orderly environment.)
• Independence is the greatest drive of a young child. While working to achieve it, children have fun practicing and mastering many skills. (care of himself; buttoning up, shoe polishing, learning to pour, bow-tying, preparing a snack, everyday tasks around the house; sweeping up, dries the dishes, washing dishes, dustbuster) Children want to be part of your world. For them, work is every bit as much fun as play if they are given the chance to do it. Children need to be shown new skills in simple ways they can understand-Setting the table, ride a bike, washing hands, brushing teeth, bath time, brushing hair, introducing toileting, getting dressed.
• Free to roam – babies need to move about and explore in order to learn.
• Art appreciation – encourage your child to display his finished work.
• Keeping a journal of your child’s activities and achievements.
• Encourage young children to focus their attention more carefully on the physical world.
• Exercises that develop children’s sensory awareness help them to appreciate their world much more fully for the rest of their lives. (sensory activities: sorting objects, stacking cubes, simple puzzles, matching colour charts, concentration game-matching pairs, sound, the silence game, listening to music, texture matching, the mystery bag, smell, taste)
• We can help our children to learn good behaviour - courtesy and compassion by demonstration, reassurance and unconditional love.
• It’s better to teach your child the right way to act than to wait for him to misbehave, then scold, threaten or punish him.
• Our goal should be to help our children to become mature, independent and responsible. Unfortunately, as parents, we sometimes overprotect our children, not realizing that they can only learn about life through experience, just as we did.
• We work to create a home in which they can learn to function as independent, thinking people. To succeed, we need to treat them with respect as full and complete human beings, who happen to be in our care. Our children need to feel that it is fine to be themselves. If they believe that they are not living up to our expectations or that we are disappointed in the people that they are becoming, then there is a good chance that their lives will be emotionally scared.
• Children are little scientists – children have an inbuilt drive for discovery. Encourage you child to observe the world and to feel a sense of wonder for everything in it.
• Positive approach to discipline – don’t punish, teach. Cut down on “NO”.

My dedication to my baby.

Caring for a little baby is an extremely challenging job. Some may think that taking care of a little one is merely, feeding and changing diapers and thus what the big deal about it!

First, the decision to be a full-time mummy is a tough one. One has to be willing to give up ones’ desire career and time with colleagues and friends. Some times, I do miss my time in the office, tea breaks and lunch with friends, and those chatting and giggles we used to have (Now, my only company in the day time is baby). Besides, stopped working means switching from a double income to a single income family, with this, I have to give up a lot of luxury entertainments and shopping. When I was working, I could afford to buy myself big items without a second thought but now, spending is a think think event!

Many think that being a full-time mummy is a relaxing time at home, working is hard work therefore working daddy deserved rest when at home. But this isn’t true. If daddy comes home and get rest without helping around, meaning mummy will need to work 24hours a day, 7days a week and 365days a year without a break. That’s the toughest job in the world.

Previously, I used to think that nothing can be more difficult than my designing job; with tight schedules, working with endless people and forever overtime till midnight and over the weekends. But if you were to ask me this question again, I’ll say that "I was wrong. Nothing is more tough and challenging than being a new mother and caring for a baby at home." Baby demands love, attention, and care every second, every minute round the clock, meaning there is no real break or rest. Last time, no matter how busy at work, once I reached home, I could drop everything and sleep peacefully for at least a few hours in a stretch. It is a luxury if any mummy(with baby) can have a 100% peaceful night sleep. Also no matter how tired I am now, I have to wait untill baby asleep before I can retire to bed myself.

I believe all mummies are sensitive towards their babies’ need, like me, I’m awake when baby whines or cries a little or even a little sneezes in the middle of the night. Though I may not be attending to her, still I’m constantly worrying over my baby well-being. Is she too hot or is she cold or did she have a nightmare or is she hungry etc… Sometimes, a sick or teething baby will keep on crying for comfort and the persistent loud crying will drive anyone out of his/her mind. Some times, this even resulted me in hearing her cries in my head while sleeping. Nevertheless, I still have to keep myself compose and calm while tending to my discomfort child selflessly.

Being a full-time mummy, I highly respected my current responsibility. I am treating it as a full-time professional job with passion and dedication. Basically, my job starts when baby awakes in the morning, tending to her basics and emotional needs and other development. My days never end until baby asleep at night. And this including weekends, public holiday and there isn’t annual leave entitlement for a stay home mummy, even if I fall sick, I still have to be my baby’s mummy. There is little I can do (house chores) when baby is awake, as I don’t want to confine her to a playpen which constricts her development. I have a little area for her to play and roam and thus this needs constant monitoring, which is extremely tiring for me. Most of the day, she will be roaming and playing freely, but I am very particular that she sits and has a proper meal at the table and picks up her toys before bedtime. The other confining time is when I make milk for her; she will wait for me in her cot.

Some may think that I’m putting too much stress upon myself for being a perfect parent. Frankly speaking, I am just doing my best everyday for my child well-beings. Caring for a little baby is very different from managing a whole group of people. You can order around and plan your day while in the office but these do not apply when tending to a little baby. A parent can only adopt and adapt ways that work best with their baby with constant changes and new methods which may work better as baby grows older. Sensitivity and Flexibility is the key. Work in the office can be delayed an hour or two but a crying baby cannot wait even another second.

Since the day baby arrived, baby becomes my main focus. Everyday and everything revolves around baby. Moreover, I believe in early development, therefore, I spend time and always looking for new opportunity to help my little one grows. Therefore I am spending a lot of time playing and coaching her everyday. Even when I'm doing the dishes, I'll be telling her what I am doing, which is a plate or a spoon? Also I choose to spend time playing with her than watching the television. I do not have the luxury time to watch any tv drama or movie anymore, not to mention my favourite “American Idol.” As for this season, I did not see any nor am aware that the show was ongoing and just over. The only programme I watch is Baby’s programmes where I watch them with my little baby.

For the pass one year, most of my favourites have to be put on hold – reading the newspaper, most of the days; I only look at the headlines without opening the newspaper, so it is as new as it was being delivered at the door steps. Shopping now is for baby stuffs and baby food. What will she be having this week and so on? The only luxury time I have is after baby asleep, that’s when I have time to write my blog (recording baby development and memories) and the books I read are baby development books, updating and equipping myself on baby know how as I’m learning to be a mummy to a toddler now, so there is a need for constant learning. There are many other books I wish to read and tv shows that I wish to watch but am giving baby number one priority at this moment. Other things can wait but not baby’s opportunity to learn and long-term growth and development at these crucial years.

“ When we take a closer look, we may see that we have been selfish, insensitive, and extremely short-sighted to design the baby’s environment almost totally for our comfort and convenience, thus denying the baby his birthright to move and explore and develop his abilities to their fullest. “ – Glenn Doman

"Why is teaching and coaching so important now?" Some may think, no such need to stress up yourself. Let babies be babies. They will learn by themselves. (Through accidental discoveries) Children can learn later in school. Teachers will teach them. "Why wait if baby can learn effectively and painlessly now? Why want our child to struggle in school later and many years ahead (after the window opportunity of learning closed at 6years old) if learning can be fun and effortless now?" I believe that proper development in all area will ensure proper wiring in the brain which determines future ability of the child. This is the main reason that I am helping my little one to learn every moment of everyday.I even go to the extent to learn on subject that I dislike; dinasaurs, so that I can share it with my baby. Though dinasaurs has never been a topic that I wanted to know or learn, but I am learning about it now, because I do not want to deprive my baby from knowing it. Baby ought to learn about everything and anything.

“After more than a half-century of watching our babies grow up, we are convinced that what the baby will be like as an adult in terms of physical and neurological ability is determined more strongly in the first year of life than in any other period.” – Glenn Doman

“Do we join baby or get in his way? If we join baby, we enter a world that is exciting and dynamic. Nothing stays the same in this world of the tiny child. Baby changes every day and this means we have to change too. Sometimes it is hard work for us to change, especially every day! The prize, however is a happy, respected, productive, and highly capable child who loves and respects his parents and values the good teaching, wisdom, and experience of the adults around him. The truth is that this process begins right now: not when he is six or ten or fifteen but right now. This is the moment.” – Glenn Doman.

Of course, occasionally, I do take a break, sitting at the Coffee Beans, sipping my favourite coffee, and have some quiet time away from my little one, to recharge and relax myself or do some thinking and reflection on my own needs.

Glenn Doman

I have been reading Glenn Doman’s book on How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence. Of all his books that I have read, I must say that this book is a summary of all his other books. Readers will get some ideas on his belief on why the need to teach young children (babies) and his other teachings on how to teach your baby to read, to do mathematics and to expand baby’s general learning potential. I strongly believe in his teaching and belief, which can give every baby a powerful advantage that will last a lifetime. Babies will have the opportunity to be everything good that it is possible for them to be in life.

Excerpt from this book:


The Basics of Good Teaching

1. Begin as young as possible

2. Be joyous at all times.

3. Respect and trust your child.

4. Teach only when you and your child are happy.

5. Create a good learning environment.

6. Stop before your child wants to stop.

7. Introduce new materials often.

8. Be organized and consistent.

9. Do not test your child.

10. Prepare your materials carefully and stay ahead.

11. Remember the Fail-Safe Law: If you aren't having a wonderful time and your child isn't having a wonderful time - stop. You are doing something wrong.

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"It's good, not bad, to be intelligent." - Glenn Doman

"Children who are the most competent are the most self-sufficient. They have the least reason to whine and the most reason to smile. In short, the children who are truly bright, knowledgeable, and capable are the nicest children and the most understanding of others. They are full of the characteristics for which we love children." - Glenn Doman