Parenting

What would you do when your toddler throws things/toys onto the floor to free some space for her/him/ toys; for example throwing magazines onto the floor so that she can use the coffee table to do her drawing?

Do you scream at her for throwing the magazines onto the floor? Which I believe most Asian will do that; especially the older generation. Maybe some may even spank the little child for doing so which is such a sad event to see. It’s so sad; many caretakers only scream and yell at the little ones for their inappropriate doings without guiding them or showing them the correct way to face the situation. It’s often heard, “Don’t throw! Why did you throw them onto the floor?” But they never offered any solution or guidance so that the child will know how to handle such similar situation in the future. How sad?

As responsible parents; we should evaluate each situation calmly and soundly (not to be affected by our bad mood or tiredness.). Did the child do it on purpose? If yes, why is it so? Is he/she seeking attention? Have we been ignoring him/her for quite some time due to house chores or have we been away from him/her for sometime?

Try to see what is the reason behind? As for the example above, parents should tell the child that it’s inappropriate to throw things onto the floor, even though to make way for his own activities. Parents may teach/guide them to put away their toys or put aside the magazines or ask Mummy/Daddy to help. Of course the best solution is to get a table for the child for his/her own activities.

Moreover, parents didn’t see the bad example of themselves in screaming/yelling at the little child. Over the time, it will come the time when the little child yells back at his/her parents. And when this happened, the parents get angry; blaming the child for misbehaving and rude. Can you guess what happened? Again the child gets punished for yelling. Why are so many parents (Asian) scream and yell at their children while expecting their children to behave politely in return? This doesn’t make sense to me at all.

Once my university professor told the class; “Never scold your child STUPID.” This is because your child actually reflects you yourself. Your child is your own reflection!

What I hate most is parents like to belittle the child in public. They like to make comments like, “Aunty is looking at you.”, “Aunty will scold you.”, “Uncle laughs at you.”, “People laugh at you.” Again these selfish parents are using these inappropriate statements to tame the child without noticing the severe damage that can be done to the child. These are all negatives statements that can harm the child’s self-esteem for life.